I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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