well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
