So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
