i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
we should paint friendship bongs
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