she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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