i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
