Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
