And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
