Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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