Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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