I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
