just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
