he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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