new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
