I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
