bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
