Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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