It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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