No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
