Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
