After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
