true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
