2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Send help, water and tortillas.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
