ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize