he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
