we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
