Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
