how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
