Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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