i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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