so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is it because I queefed?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I am mentally ready for anal.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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