one might say we're banned from that church
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
