WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
