Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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