whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
