honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
