His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
