i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
