I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
