wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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