life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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