i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
