Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We are two peas in an std pod
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
