Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
