I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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