It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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