Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
