Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
