I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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