Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
