I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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