It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
