I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
