guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i've created a new STD.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
