is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
