I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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