But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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