Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
