He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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