Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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