whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
