last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
