doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
